On Monday (if you’re reading this before 05/09/16) I go back to school, something I’ve been dreading since I finished school. I left school on the 24th June and even before then I had stopped having proper lessons. I don’t think I’ve sat in a proper lesson since the beginning of May, that’s a long time.
I was so ready to leave school; I love learning but I find the whole school thing really hard. The routine, the competition that is imposed, the pressure and just everything I really struggled. So as I began to reach the end of year 11 (probably around Easter time) I just wanted to leave. I did my revision, did my exams and leaving secondary school was such a relief. As much as I want to study my ALevel options, the thought of being back in the school environment is a daunting one.
I am so invested into learning and growing as a person with new knowledge, I’m ambitious academically and set myself really high standards; my academic achievements are by no means bad but they’re not incredible – the high standards I hold very rarely get met. I just find school a bag of anxiety and stress that I really struggle to deal with. I feel like the teachers have such high expectations from me and adding that on top of my expectations of myself is hard.
I am looking forward to the new challenges this academic year will bring me; I’m taking three subjects that I think I will really enjoy and the enrichment programme looks like it will offer me some amazing opportunities. I also start my new string group and I’m really looking to do a violin exam this academic year. As much as all these things are great, they’re quite scary and uncertain. I live for certainty and knowing what is going on; by now I’d usually have a timetable but this year I don’t and by now I’d know my teachers but this year I don’t.
It’s all the little things like not actually knowing where I’m going on the first day back, yes I know the school but I still don’t know where I’m going. Things like I’m not quite sure if instrumental lessons and groups start on the first or second week. It’s all the little things that makes me worry the most. I’m in the same school but everything’s going to be so different; I’ve had the same teachers for two years and now I’m going to have completely new ones.
I want to enjoy these two years as much as possible, I want to engage in all of my subjects and I want to achieve highly both personally and academically. I’m hoping the feelings of uncertainty will subside after the first week once I have a timetable and a routine. I also really hope I’m cut out for ALevels and I can enjoy them as much as I’m hoping to.
If you’re going back to school soon I hope you have the most amazing year. Comment your favourite and least favourite subject below; it always intrigues me. (At GCSE my favourite was English Literature and my least favourite was ICT).